The Bond Between Us
by NothingGoesAsPlanned
Summary: "We'll be together forever, right?" "Together...forever." The story of Logan meeting Kendall, losing him, and the moments that happened in-between.


_A young man, twenty five years of age, made his way through the thick, iron gates. His lips were pressed into a firm line, but other than that his face seemed to be relaxed. In his hand was a bunch of flowers. He stopped in front of a gravestone, one that looked new despite being there for five years. His breath left him in a painful gasp, and sunk to his knees, fingers tracing over the words carved into the stone._

_"Why…?"_

* * *

Logan shook his head, rubbing against his hands under the steady stream of water. The soap, tinted barely with pink, swirled down the drain. Logan rubbed harder at his skin, the pale flesh turning a slight red with the abuse he was putting on it.

After a few minutes he gave up, turning the water off and staring at his ink-stained hands, dyed pink and teal and lavender. Despite all his scrubbing, the dye from the markers he had used in the morning refused to go away.

For a four year old, Logan Mitchell was quite intelligent. He was the youngest in their kindergarten class, causing him to be the target of ridicule from his classmates. He was quiet and shy and kept to himself, not wanting to be bothered by anyone.

Because of his shyness, he had no friends. It didn't bother him as much as some might think. Logan was used to being by himself. His mother and father were barely around, and James was usually playing with his friends. So because of that, Logan had grown quite accustomed to being alone.

He heard noises in the hall, so the small boy grabbed his book bag and headed outside. He mentally scolded himself for taking so long in the bathroom. School had been let out, and the last of the elementary students were leaving. He scurried towards the doors, fully intent on leaving when something grabbed him by his backpack, stopping him in place.

Fear coursed through his body, and Logan could feel himself begin to shake. He was turned around, looking up to see the frowning face of a boy much older than him.

_Oh no, a fourth grader!_

The older boy looked at Logan, his eyebrows drawn together.

"You're a kindergartener, right?" He asked. Logan gave a small nod. "Then why are you all by yourself? Shouldn't your parents have picked you up by now?"

"My parents don't pick me up. I walk home." Logan managed to say. The boy raised an eyebrow.

"You walk home by yourself? Aren't you too young to be doing that?" He asked. Logan shook his head.

"No. I go around people and use alleys." He explained. The boy shook his head.

"It's too dangerous for you to walk by yourself. Something could happen to you." The boy paused, pursing his lips in though. He snapped his fingers, smiling slightly. "Hey, how about I walk you home?" He asked.

Logan backed away slightly.

"I'm not supposed to go with strangers…" He said. The boy rolled his eyes.

"That's only for adults. I'm a kid; I won't do anything to you. If anything, I'll protect you from strangers." He said.

Logan chewed his lip.

"I don't know…"

"Alright. My name's Kendall Knight. I'm nine and in fourth grade. I live with my mom and little sister Katie. Now I'm not a stranger." Kendall said with a satisfied smile.

Logan cleared his throat quietly.

"My name is Logan Mitchell. I'm four. I live with my mom and dad and my big brother James." He said. Kendall grinned.

"See? Now we know about each other. Now come on, let's get you home."

Logan flinched as he thought about his home. Without thinking he grabbed Kendall's hand, pulling the taller boy towards him.

"Please don't take me home!" He pleaded. Kendall gave him a confused look.

"Why?" He asked. Logan swallowed.

"I…I don't want to be alone." He responded quietly. Kendall looked at the smaller boy, who barely came up to his hip. He had a sad look on his face, and it was a look Kendall never wanted to see on the boy again.

"Alright. I won't take you home. Not yet, anyway. What time do you absolutely have to be at home?" He asked.

"Six or seven. James comes home then, and he always tells me that I should be home then." Logan said. Kendall smiled again.

"So that gives us about two to three hours. Come on, I know some place we can go until then." He said. He held his hand out to Logan, who placed his smaller hand into Kendall's.

The two walked out of the school building, Kendall turning left and going down the street. A few adults smiled at what they thought was an adorable sight. A woman even stopped to tell Logan how cute he was, which made the raven-haired child giggle in delight.

When they finally arrived at their destination, Logan's eyes grew wide. He took in the sight around him, amazed.

"Wow," He breathed. "It's so pretty!" He added, turning to Kendall. The older boy grinned again.

"I thought you would like it. I come here whenever I just want to have some time to myself."

Logan turned back to the small lake, his eyes landing on the bridge that allowed people to cross over it. He pointed towards it, smiling. Kendall chuckled when he saw the boy was missing one of his front teeth.

"Can we go on it?" He asked, excited. Kendall nodded and allowed himself to be dragged to the bridge by Logan, who had quite a bit of strength for someone of his age and stature.

They sat down on the bridge, dangling their legs out of the side. Logan kicked his legs back and forth and hummed to himself. He looked so happy, and Kendall felt good knowing that _he_ had been the one to make him so happy.

"So what do you want to be when you grow up Logan?" He asked. The smaller boy didn't even hesitate.

"A doctor." Kendall made a face.

"Don't you have to deal with, ya know, _blood_?" He asked. Logan gave a tiny shrug.

"It doesn't bother me." He turned to Kendall curiously. "What do you want to be?"

"A hockey player. I'm captain of my pee-wee team. I'm the best player on that team. I'm even better than my best friend Carlos." Kendall said. He noticed that at the mention of Carlos, the smaller boy's face fell. He had that sad look on his face again, and Kendall wracked him brain to figure out what he had said wrong.

"I don't have any friends." Logan said quietly, twisting his shirt in his hands. "No one likes me. They call me names and push me and hit me. No one at home knows because they're never really there. My parents work a lot and James is always out playing with his friends."

Kendall felt his heart break at the newly acquired information.

"Hey, Logan. I can be your friend if you want. I'll protect you and play with you and do everything friends do with you." He offered gently. Logan looked at him.

"But you're so much older than me. And when you leave the school to go to sixth grade, I'll be alone again." He said.

"I'll come to see you after school every day. We'll be friends forever." Kendall promised. Logan smiled at him softly.

"Okay. Pinky swear?" He asked, extending his pinky. Kendall laughed.

"Pinky swear." He said, curling his own finger around the much smaller one.

* * *

"And at recess, I got on the swing and I swung higher than everybody else!" Logan exclaimed, waving his hands excitedly as he talked. He was seven now, and in second grade. Kendall was twelve, and in sixth grade.

"That's great Logan." He said, affectionately rubbing the smaller boy's head. Logan ducked away from his hand, laughing. He looked at Kendall, noticing that the older boy had adopted a serious expression. Logan had barely seen that expression on the other's face. He grabbed Kendall's hand and tugged it, causing the older boy to look down at him.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Kendall shook his head, mentally cursing the smaller boy for being so observant.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it." Logan huffed.

"I can tell when you're lying." He said. "What's wrong?"

Kendall sighed.

"I failed my math test. My mom said that if I failed another test she would pull me out of hockey." He said.

Logan looked horrified, and Kendall almost laughed at the younger boy's expression.

"That's terrible! What are you going to do?" He asked. Kendall shrugged.

"Show her. It's my fault I failed." He said. Logan looked at him before shaking his head and curling his small hand into a fist.

"I wish there was something I could do. I don't want you to get kicked out of hockey! It makes you happy, and I like seeing you happy." Kendall smiled and ruffled Logan's hair.

"Thanks kiddo. But there's not much you can do." He said. "I just got to take responsibility. It's alright, Logan." He said. He looked down at his watch. "Well, I can either take you home or we can go to the lake."

"Do you have a pencil?" Logan asked. Kendall blinked at the random question.

"Uh, yeah."

"Okay. Let's go to the lake." Logan grabbed his hand and tugged him towards the school doors.

"Hey, Kendall!" Both Kendall and Logan stopped.

"Oh, hey Carlos." Kendall said, waving his friend over. Carlos jogged over, his eyes landing on Logan, who was now hiding behind Kendall's legs.

"Who's the kid?" He asked.

"This is Logan. I walk him home after school." Kendall said. Carlos looked confused.

"Is he your cousin or something?" He asked. Kendall opened his mouth to speak, but Logan quickly spoke up.

"He's my best friend." He said, moving out from behind Kendall. Carlos laughed.

"I'm his best friend too. I guess we'll have to share him now, right?" He said. Logan grinned.

"Well, I should probably get going. I got to get Logan home." Kendall said. Carlos nodded.

"Alright, cool. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

Kendall turned away, Logan still clutching onto his hand.

"So why did you need a pencil?" Kendall asked when they arrived at their usual spot on the bridge.

"So I can do my homework. I don't feel like doing it at home." Logan explained. Kendall nodded and retrieved the pencil from his book bag. Logan took it and began diligently working on his homework.

"Thank you." He said after a few moments of silence. Kendall looked over at him.

"Huh?"

"Thank you for keeping your promise. You're the first person to do that." He said. Kendall's eyes softened.

"You're welcome." A silence fell between them again.

"We'll be together forever, right?" Logan asked. Kendall laughed at the seven year old, ruffling his hair.

"Together…_forever_."

* * *

"Who's that boy who walks you home?" James asked. Logan paused, the knife he had been using to spread peanut butter falling out of his hands.

He was in seventh grade now, twelve years old and perfectly capable of walking home by himself (in fact, he'd been capable of doing that since he was third grade). Kendall, who was now seventeen and in his senior year of high school, still insisted on picking Logan up from school. They weren't able to go to lake as much, though. They both had more homework, and sometimes Kendall had hockey. He got in trouble for being late to practice, something Logan wasn't okay with, but the older boy reminded him time and time again that he didn't mind.

"Oh, that's Kendall." Logan said. James narrowed his eyes.

"He looks my age."

"He's younger, actually. Senior in high school." That past summer, James had gone to college. He was back on his spring break now.

As they got older, James started taking a sudden interest in his brother's life. It kind of annoyed Logan at times, but he was glad that he was getting the attention he so desperately craved as a child.

"Why's he hanging out with you then? He's not a pedo or anything, right?" James asked. Logan's eyes widened.

"Oh god no! Kendall's been walking me home since kindergarten."

"Why?"

"He thinks he's my personal bodyguard." Logan said, snickering. Whenever he said that to Kendall, the blonde would roll his eyes and shove Logan playfully.

"Oh. How come I never saw him before?"

"Because you never cared to meet him. I used to tell you about him, actually. Well, when you were around." Logan said. James chewed his lip.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I should have been around more." Logan picked the knife up and set it on the plate, leaning forward.

"Kendall…he's been more of a brother to me than you." He said quietly. James gave him a hurt look. "You're trying James. I know you are. But it's going to take a while for us to be all buddy-buddy. You know that, right?"

James sighed.

"Yeah, I know."

Logan began putting the peanut butter and bread away.

"You should go check on mom. Dad said he would be home late today, so you might have to go get her medicine." James nodded and left.

Logan's mother had recently gotten sick. She had to take a cocktail of pills each day just to stay alive. Logan knew she didn't have much time yet. He wanted to be there for her, and he wanted to spend time with her. But he couldn't seem to do so. All throughout his childhood, she had been absent, barely there. He was resentful about that, and that resent was making him stay away.

He sighed, suddenly not hungry anymore. He left his sandwich on the counter, figuring someone would come eat it later.

Someone rang the doorbell, so Logan walked over to the door and opened. He raised his eyebrows.

"What are you doing here?" Kendall pouted.

"I thought you would be happier to see me, Logie."

"I saw you less than an hour ago. And I told you to stop calling me that." He added. Kendall rolled his eyes.

"You know you love it. And what, I can't spend some extra time with my best friend?" He asked.

Logan looked away.

"Carlos is your best friend, not me."

Logan knew that this would be the last year he would see Kendall. After the older boy graduated, Logan didn't bet too hard on seeing him again. Kendall would be older then, and he would realize that Logan was just a kid. He wouldn't want to be friends with him anymore.

Logan was prepared to lose his first, and only, friend. However, Kendall didn't seem to be letting go of him anytime soon.

"You're right. Carlos is my best friend, and you're my amazing brother." He reached out to ruffle Logan's hair. Logan ducked away.

"People make fun of you, you know. For hanging out with me." Logan said. Kendall shrugged.

"Do you see me caring? They can say whatever they want. It won't make me stop being your friend."

"You won't be saying that after college." Logan said. Kendall sighed.

"Logan, I've said this before. Nothing, and I mean _nothing_, will make me stop talking to your or hanging out with you. You're my best friend and brother, and there's no way I'm letting you go."

Logan turned away, hiding the smile threatening to split his cheeks.

* * *

He was crying.

The only way he knew this was happening was because he could taste the salt from his tears every time he licked his lips. He crumpled the piece of paper tighter in his hands, and listened to the sound of it crackling with his grip on it.

"He's gone." He said hollowly.

Logan, who had just turned sixteen, was quite bitter. Kendall had left for college, and he hadn't seen the boy in four years. He felt betrayed when he thought about how Kendall had said he would always be there. Logan's mother had died when he was fourteen, and his father had remarried a woman named Michelle. He stayed out of their way, only leaving his room to eat, use the bathroom, and go to school.

His grades had dropped dramatically, going from straight A's to C's and D's. He just couldn't find himself to care anymore.

"Logan!"

He ignored the familiar voice, walking forward. A hand clutched his back pack, and he was reminded of when this same action happened when he was a kindergartener.

"Get the fuck off me." He snapped, yanking himself out of the gasp. He ignored the look Kendall had given him, which resembled one a kicked puppy might make.

"What's the matter?" He asked. Logan whirled around, fresh tears making their way down his cheeks.

"What's the matter? Well, let's see here. My "best friend" is a selfish prick, my mother is dead, my father probably doesn't even know I exist, and my brother is _gone_." He said. Kendall looked at him, desperately grabbing his arm again.

"Logan, I wanted to come back. But school was just so demanding and I couldn't find the time-"

"Bull-fucking-shit." Logan snapped. Kendall ignored the interruption and continued.

"And I'm sorry about your mom. I know you didn't exactly have a great relationship but she was still your mom and losing her must have been hard. And I'm sorry about your dad and James. If I had known how bad things got I would have come back, I swear." Kendall said.

Logan squeezed his eyes shut.

"I really hate you right now." He said, opening his eyes after a few minutes. "But I think…I think I hate James more. He was all I had. He didn't really start caring until later on, but _fuck_, he was the _only_ one who cared." Logan added.

"You still have me." Kendall said quietly. Logan laughed dryly.

"Yeah, the one who left and I didn't hear from for four years. Yeah, I _totally_ had you." Kendall's eyes darkened with anger.

"Hey! I've been there for you since you were four! Four! When even James wasn't there, I_** was**_. You…you're so bitter now! I just want _my_ Logan back! The one who laughed and smiled. The one who wasn't a giant dick!"

Kendall fell silent, breathing raggedly. He ran his fingers through his hair.

"I left, Logan. And I understand why you're mad at me. But I would never abandon you. While I was at school, all I thought about was _you_. I'm sorry Logan."

Logan felt tears beginning to form. He grabbed the front of Kendall's shirt, yanking the older boy to him before wrapping his arms tightly around his waist.

"You're such a fucking asshole." He said, burying his face in Kendall's chest.

"I know, I know." Kendall said, rubbing Logan's back.

He pulled away, wiping his face.

"I know you're here, but you're not my brother. You're…you're not James." Kendall shook his head.

"We _are_ brothers."

"Not by blood." Logan reminded him. Kendall chewed his lip, deep in thought. He reached into his pocket, producing a pocket knife. Logan watched him with raised eyebrows. Kendall flicked the knife open and dragged it down his hand.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Logan asked, reaching for the knife. He watched as blood tricked from Kendall's wound.

Kendall gently grabbed his hand and dragged the blade down it, much more gentle than he had on his own had. Logan gasped in pain, yanking his hand back and glaring at Kendall. The older boy shoved the knife in his pocket before grabbing Logan's bleeding hand and pressing it against his own. Their blood mixed in-between their hands.

"We're blood brothers now, Logan." Kendall said, squeezing his hand.

Logan continued to stare at their joined hands, watching as their skin became red from the blood.

"I guess we are." He said quietly.

* * *

Two years later, Logan graduated from high school. He hadn't done as well had he had hoped, but it was alright. He would finally leave behind all of the bad memories he had and start over somewhere new.

His father had bought him a car, which sat in the driveway filled with his stuff. They hugged each other awkwardly, and Logan gave a curt goodbye to Michelle. Then he had gotten in and driven himself to the one-bedroom apartment he was renting in Sherwood. He had gotten a job as a bartender at the bar down the street. It wasn't what he imagined his first job to be, but he really didn't have a choice.

In the fall, he would have started school. But he didn't have enough money, so that didn't happen. Not long after that, he turned nineteen. Kendall would occasionally call him from time to time. He was now twenty four, and was an accountant. Logan was saddened that his friend hadn't gotten to become a professional hockey player, but Kendall assured him it was alright.

When he disregarded the shitty job and evens shittier apartment, Logan could honestly say that his life wasn't that bad. But as the saying goes, good things never last, right?

It had been a Saturday night when Kendall showed up unexpectedly at Logan's door. The younger boy had opened it and Kendall walked in. He had a six pack of beer, and they both drank despite Logan being underage.

After finishing the pack, they sat on the floor against Logan's couch and talked about everything and nothing at the same time.

"Your brother's a real asshole for leaving." Kendall mused. Logan shook his head.

"He had college. He just went…and never came back." Logan said.

"You got mad at me 'cause of college too. Except I came back."

"I know. James…I think he was just done with our family situation. He always wanted to be somebody. I bet you he's doing something great with his life. And I'm stuck here being a loser." Logan said sourly.

"You're not a loser, Logie." Kendall disagreed. Logan didn't think to reprimand him for using the nickname.

"I am, though. I work at a bar, I can barely pay rent, and I don't have enough money to go to college. I could ask my dad for money, but I don't know his phone number, and they're no way in hell I would go back to that damn house. And…I don't even know where James is. Then there's you, but I don't want to burden you. I would never be able to pay you back anyway. I was supposed to be a doctor…now look at me."

Kendall placed his hands on either side of Logan's face, forcing the younger boy to look at him.

"I don't care if you don't work of if you do or if you can pay or rent or if you can't. You're still the same Logan Mitchell I met in fourth grade. You're amazing Logan. And…I love you."

Logan felt the back of his eyelids grow warm. He closed his eyes, and tears leaked out of the corners.

"I love you too."

Kendall pressed their lips together. It wasn't anything special; just their lips against each other. But it was Logan's first kiss, and it meant the world to him. They pulled away when the need for air became too much. Logan chuckled under his breath.

"What's so funny?" Kendall asked. Logan shook his head fondly.

"Remember when you cut our hands and said we were blood brothers?" He asked. Kendall laughed.

"How could I forget? We both have scars from that." Logan nodded.

"Yeah. So, since we're blood brothers, does that mean this is incest?"

Kendall leaned away from Logan, laughing so hard that his face began to turn red.

"Way to ruin the mood, Logan." He said, still laughing.

Logan only grinned.

* * *

They had been together for one month short of a year when Logan saw Kendall kissing another girl. He had stormed out of the restaurant, not bothering to hear Kendall's side of the story. The older boy cornered him at the end of the street, where he had to wait for the crossing sign to change.

"Leave me alone, Kendall. Go back to your girlfriend." He snapped. Kendall groaned.

"Logan! That was Camille! She wants to be a method actress, so sometimes she acts out scenes on random people. I swear, Logan, I'm not cheating on you."

"Whatever. What are you going to say next? She kissed you first? Give me a break." He muttered under his breath.

"Logan, babe, I would never cheat on you. I love you, okay? Wait, Logan, where are you going?"

Logan had dashed across the street despite the crossing sign not being changed. He was almost halfway across when he heard it. There was a sickening crunch, and the sound of a car door being slammed. Horns were honked, and people were shouting and whispering and he swore he heard someone crying.

Logan whirled around, his eyes widening when he saw it. Kendall, on his back, bleeding.

"Kendall!" He screamed. He ran back, kneeling next to his boyfriend. Kendall looked up at him.

"Logie…I'm sorry." He whispered. Logan shook his head, tears falling freely.

"No! Kendall, oh my god Kendall, you have to stay awake, please." He said frantically. Kendall's eyes fluttered.

"But...I'm…so tired." He said. He looked at Logan before smiling weakly. "I love you…Logan. I'll always love you."

"I love you too, but you have to stay awake. Please, Kendall. Don't leave me, please don't leave me!"

"I'm sorry." Kendall whispered painfully. His eyes closed, and Logan began screaming at him. By then, paramedics had arrived. Someone grabbed Logan, which caused him to thrash violently.

"NO! KENDALL! GET OFF ME; I NEED TO GO TO KENDALL!"

He could barely see through his tears. His heart felt like it had been stomped on, and his stomach clenched painfully.

_Why…why did he leave me?_

* * *

One week.

It had been one week since Kendall had died. Logan didn't know how _he_ was still alive, but somehow he was. Carlos had come to the funeral, and had visited Logan every day since then, mostly coming with food. They would sit and talk and Logan would still be in shock about the whole thing.

Kendall, his best friend and lover, was dead.

And it was his entire fault. If he had only listened to Kendall, if he had only heard him out and not crossed the street, Kendall would still be alive.

He wiped the bar down again, forcing the tears away. The door jingled, and another customer entered. Logan watched him sit down at a table with some other customers, and his hands clenched. The man caught his eye, and got up to leave. Logan took his apron off and threw the rag down on the counter.

His boss yelled at him, but Logan ignored him. He followed the man out of the bar and all the way to his apartment. Once they were inside, Logan slammed the door shut behind him.

"I was afraid you wouldn't come." He said. Logan stared at him.

"James…"

"You want to know why I left." Logan nodded, his throat feeling tight. "I needed to get out of there. I just couldn't take it anymore."

"I figured as much." Logan said, swallowing roughly. "But…you left me James. You were the only person I had in that house and you left." He felt tears forming, and he didn't bothering forcing them away.

"I figured you didn't need me. You have Kendall. And you said it yourself; he's more of a brother to you than I was." James paused and got an envelope off of the table. "I wanted to give this to you after you graduated. Dad found my number and told me, and I wanted to give it to you. But by the time I got there you were gone."

Logan took the envelope.

"Where did you get all this money?" He asked.

"I've been saving it from work. It's for you, Logan, so you can go to college."

Logan brushed his tears away.

"Kendall died." James looked at him, shocked. "It was my fault. Thank you, James. I…I'll see you soon."

Logan walked out of the apartment, not bothering to look back.

* * *

**Kendall Donald Knight**

**November 2****nd****, 1983 – December 15****th****, 2008**

**Forever Loved,**

**Never To Be Forgotten**

"Why did you leave me?" Logan whispered. The trees rustled, giving him his only answer. Logan pressed his fingers harder against the gravestone.

"I needed you. But you left me…and while I can be mad at you all I want, I'm the reason you're gone." He continued.

He brushed his fingers against the stone again.

"I still remember the day we met. You were looking out for me, like you always have. You we worried something would happen, and I was worried about going with you because you were a stranger. Then you took me to the lake…and you told me we would be friends forever."

Logan leaned away, smiling tenderly.

"I'm in medical school now, Kendall. After you died, I found James again and he gave me money for college. He had been saving it for me.

I miss you so much. But I'm okay now." Logan set the flowers in front of Kendall's grave and pressed his lips against the smooth stone.

"I love you. See you soon."

He got up slowly and walked away.

Kendall may have left, but Logan knew he didn't abandon him. He was still with him, and Logan couldn't wait until he saw him then. He looked at his left hand, and gently traced the scar running down the middle of it.

* * *

"_We'll be together forever, right?"_

"_Together…__**forever**__."_


End file.
